And I'm the Pathetic One?

Zoe has two main friends, and because of how immature and pathetic these friends are I will give them an alias because I'm scared they'll sue me (they're that kind of people) but alas, I will describe them!

Friend  1: I'm gonna call her Blumbkin because I can imagine her doing that. And because "blumbkin" for me conjures up images of fat things. She has long, black greasy hair, a Jew nose and weird teeth. They're also pretty yellow. She is incredibly fat but wears tight t-shirts that show the folds off. She's also the kind of friend who's only to be found when she has something to gain. The reason she hates me is because I demanded fuel money for two trips to Dundee and got angry at her because it took her 7 weeks to give me it even though she was going out etc etc. If I was a bank, I'd have taken her fucking car as collateral.

Friend 2: She can be called Flower, because she reminds me of a hippy. She has really bad acne on her face, a ridiculous dress sense and hair like a scarecrow. Her voice also makes a rape whistle sound nice. She also has a low alcohol tolerance and gives out hand jobs at parties like they're swizzle sticks. The reason this girl hates me, I think, is because she's trying to be like everyone else. Either that or she's just as bat-shit-crazy as her mother. Mental illness is genetic.

I'll keep this post as brief as I can, but basically they took to Twitter to, again, indirectly slam me for being such a shit boyfriend to Zoe. Now, I have two problems with this:

Number 1: Blumbkin had a boyfriend that nobody ever saw, and whom most of her close friends thought she made up (yeah, that also points to how mentally reliable she is if her own friends thought she was lying about her boyfriend) and he cheated on her. So, to get him back she went to his, fucked him then left. As a sort of you-fuck-me, I-fuck-you power play. Obviously this girl has no place to be questioning my morals. Also, I'm pretty sure that's conclusive evidence she was lying about the boyfriend, because not even Roscoe Arbuckle would have fucked this chick.

Number 2: This is a small reason and not a very good one, but it's a reason nonetheless. Flower has never been in a relationship. Not a proper one, so how would she know what it's like to drift so far from someone that you turn to another person of the opposite sex for closure? Short answer; she wouldn't.

There was also this random girl in Zoe's year, annoying as hell, that piped up and Tweeted this:

"you made the mistake, you lost her. stop being a total creep. #creep #pisofjack"

Now, first of all, I'm not going to let someone who can't even spell "off" properly get me down. Second thing, I would really like to know how I'm being a creep. Please, somebody educate me. I've not done anything Zoe hasn't during this break up. Apart from the thing my previous blog post was about but that wasn't me being a creep. Complete asshole - yes, creep - no.

Oh! That reminds me! Morals! Everyone knows that if your friend dated someone then they are off limits. No way, Josey. Flower was smitten with this guy from Forfar, can't remember his name, then they went sideways (as it would if you were a boy dealing with Flower) and a few months or so later Blumpkin started seeing him. Now she claims that Flower was "okay" with it, but of course she'd fucking say that! Flower is the kind of person that can't stand up for herself; hence the indirect tweeting about me.

But WHY have they been sitting on Twitter indirectly bashing me and my blog for the past 4 hours? Do they not know I love that? Everybody knows I crave people's hate filled attention. It fuels me like the high intake of saturated fats fuel Blumpkin.