Confused, To Say the Least.

My ex-girlfriend, Hannah, has not talked to me nicely since we broke up (a month today). All that has been said is blasphemies and insults. Until yesterday, when it all changed... or did it?

My mum is a childminder and she childminds this sweet young kid, who reminds me of myself, I shall call him Paul. Now Paul does this thing when he gets excited, he smiles and says a word really slowly. He loved Hannah to pieces (as did I). Whenever he saw Hannah he would smile and go "Ha-nn-ah!".

Yesterday, I got a text from Hannah, who was working at the time and it simply said "Sitting next to Paul". We got talking about it and how the situation came about, nothing too important then she said that she didn't want to hate me anymore but that she wasn't ready to talk all the time.

I have been suffering from pretty bad headaches, a bad cough and tonsillitis for the past few days now and was lying in my bed this morning at 2 o'clock unable to sleep. I thought I'd chance my luck and texted Hannah saying that I felt shit and couldn't sleep. She replied saying that she was woken up by my text and had a sore back, so could feel my pain. This I found very strange indeed. Even when we were happy if I woke her up it would be my loss, but yet this time, she seemed almost happy to text me. She was very talkative then told me she'd speak later.

Hannah has an iPad and I love Ermenegildo Zegna. I was on their website earlier on yesterday afternoon and they had an iPad cover for £235 so I text her telling her. I got a text back slagging me off and then telling me I was getting my number blocked again. Why? Because one of the night she was telling me us breaking up was all my fault and she wished I was never born I decided to go a little more... diplomatic about the situation and instead of getting hot-headed I did something I knew would really piss her off. I started speaking to her sister about her.

So now Hannah maintains that I'm a "dick" and all the rest of it and continues to ignore me. My main problem with this is that I talked to her sister about a week ago, why tell me she doesn't want to hate me and unblock my number if she's just gonna block it again?


And remember: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission...

Anger.

I'm going to keep this post brief. So, remember how I was talking about my girlfriend going off her nut at me? Yeah, she's now my ex-girlfriend...

Basically, I went to her house last Friday to tell her I wasn't happy and wanted a break. To cut a long story short, she got really upset and started screaming and crying at me that she loved me and cared about me. She then explained how she was fed up of the arguing and my "bullshit" and dumped me. Fair enough, we had been together for more than 9 months and I'm the first to admit I cry far more than is considered "normal" for an 18 year old male.

So imagine my... discomfort when I find out that she may have already kissed someone else. I know a kiss isn't very serious, but for someone who looked me in the eyes and told me she couldn't imagine being with anyone else, and that she hoped I felt the same, it is a bit upsetting to hear this.

Now, because it's only been a week and she still means everything to me and I believe I do love her, hearing the possibility of her already getting in with someone else made me furious. In fact, it made me so jealous and angry that I got the jitters. If he'd been here and admitted it I wouldn't have been accountable for my actions.

Anyway, now that I've vented my anger I'll go watch some NCIS and listen to some Bublé. Oh, and by the way, I also feel like I've been eaten and shat out by one of those tunnel boring machines, which is the reason I called in sick to work. Not a good week to say the least.


And remember: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission...

Just One of Those Moods.

I'm in one of those moods where you wish you'd done something different, regret?

So today, I have sat on Facebook re-loading the homepage literally non-stop since about 09:00. That's going on two hours ago. What the hell is wrong with me? But now I have to get up to get washed to go to work; that's what I mean. On Friday when I took on these hours from my boss it seemed like a great idea because it's time and a half upon my already ridiculously high salary for stacking shelves (not that I'm complaining), but how was I to know on Friday that it's be in this shitty mood and wouldn't want to get up. Therefor, I regret taking on the hours...


And remember: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission...

A Certain Someone.

Last week my girlfriend went off her nut at me and started complaining at how much of an asshole I am, kind, I know. Now this bothers me somewhat because if I was such an asshole, why would she put up with me for 9 months? This, by the way, is the girl that mistook our 9 month anniversary for 10 months... but I digress. We're fine now but I can't help but think that things are still somehow still shit. Let me explain...

I do everything that this girl asks me, no matter what the cost and I always put her first. If she asks me to drive her somewhere I will do it in a heartbeat and take no petrol money, if she's light on cash I will offer her money to get her by, I even cut the money she was due me for a recent holiday by £150. I am in no way well off or that, so don't think it was nothing, it was a big gesture.

Her parents live apart, are always getting at her for something and are still in that stage where they hate each other. They are somewhat... difficult when it comes to my girlfriend seeing them. Not to worry, I take her to her mum's of an evening, who lives 20 miles away and I do it with a smile, because I know how much it means for her to see her mum and obviously visa versa.

I know I might sound like a bit of a dick just now because I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to so there's no point in complaining. That is perfectly correct, and I'm not complaining. My point is gratitude.

Yes she said "thanks" etc etc, but after that it was all but forgotten about. I mean, let me give you an example. I am one of those people that lives by the moral code of kisses on a text. If I send you one "x" it means I'm happy with you, three of those tiny crosses and it means you're my friend. Six or more means I want to bang you and/or you mean a lot to me. Now my girlfriend always gets 6 or more, unless I'm pissed at her. And how many do I get in return? Four? Five you say? It's actually more like one. Or none.

Now I know that may sound pathetic, an 18 year old boy counting kisses on a text, but never the less it means something to me. And my point is that I do all of that stuff out of sheer kindness for her and she can't even take an extra 0.8 seconds out of her day to give me something that is meaningful to me? Oh, and the worst part is that other people get like five! That infuriates me!

Tonight she called me and I couldn't take it because I was driving so I hung up. I pulled over and called her back straight away but when she answered she was talking to her dad. When she was done talking to him I said my stuff then she went "Jack, I'm busy" and hung up. Now maybe I'm missing something here, but surely if she called me not 2 minutes ago then she couldn't be that fucking busy!

I knew that it was going to lead to an argument so I avoided getting angry at all costs, but then she started ignoring me. She texted back, I'm not joking, 55 minutes later and started slating me that I was "crying" because she didn't answer for 10 minutes. Whatever, I persevere.

After all this I guess my underlying point is that even though she says she loves me and cares about me, at times it really doesn't seem like she does. Other times things are great and I never feel closer to anyone, but it's times like the above when I just can't help but think: "maybe she's lying to me. She just finds it all too easy to fall out with me and ignore me for someone who loves me".

I know that if she reads this she'll be mad, so if you are reading this, know that I wasn't having a dig or anything, more just thinking out loud.


And remember: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission...

Cheezburger Network.

I feel the need to write about the Cheezburger Network. This is a network of websites, one of which is the increasingly popular www.failblog.org. I love the network, I spend hours upon hours at night reading the updates to my favourite sites in the network when I should probably be reading up on my university notes...

On a side note: I am studying Ethical Hacking and Countermeasures. If I stick in then one day I could write my blog using the "Edit HTML" section, not the "Compose" one!


Anyhoo, back to my point, the network. It's like my best friend, seriously. If I devoted as much time to other people as I did to the Cheezburger Network then I'd probably be classed as a normal person. Since there's not much point in a blog other than to tell people who don't really care about you what you are thinking, I decided I'll end this post with a good old fashioned ordered list of the sites I visit:

FAIL Blog:

1. The Fail Home;
2. Failbook;
3. WIN!;
4. Mobile;
5. Repairs;
6. Cars;
7. Work;
8. Party Fails;
9. Afterdark.

Memebase:

1. Memebase;
2. Photobombs;
3. GIFs;
4. Rage Comics;
5. Afterdark.

That reminds me, I need to catch up!

And remember: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission...

When the Job is Done, Walk Away.

Me, Jack Barnes

So, what is there to say? My name is Jack Barnes and I was born in 1993. This blog will mainly be used to convey my feelings from my conscious into a flowing river of ASCII coding embedded on a webpage, low and behold: "When the Job is Done, Walk Away".

My main inspiration behind this brainwave is my best friend, Cameron Anderson (http://whatsthepointinlivingifyournotalive.blogspot.com) and JD from Scrubs' inter monologue. I decided I want an inter monologue, but of an external form, so voila, a blog has been born!

If ever I talk about people in this blog - which believe me, I will - I won't use real names, unless it's to praise someone. I will more than likely give an alias I have created for them.

Things I like:

• Integral people;
• NCIS;
• Coffee;
• Strong values in life;
• Respect;
• Sets of rules to live by;
• My car;
• Honesty;
• I am a big fan of idioms;
• Arabic and Hebrew;
• Aston Martin
• Pink Floyd, Dire Straits, Fleetwood Mac;
• Every song on Scrubs, Scrubs;
• Armed forces;
• Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon).

Things I dislike:

• A certain fat girl, who for namesake shall be called Fatty;
• Spoiled people;
• Unappreciative people;
• Tea (Unless in a very particular mood);
• Sequels to great movies (I believe they should have left the goodness alone);
• People who insist on talking to me as soon as I log into a Social Network;
• People who think I value their opinions;
• People who's opinions differ from me;
• The "Paranormal Activity" franchise;
• People who are always selfish;
• C#;
• People who insist on dicking up supercars, i.e. Justin Bieber.

I don't plan on updating my blog all the time, what I will more than likely do is take notes on my iPhone then make a blog out of it, if I feel I need to rant about something; it helps to know that noone will read my blog.

I think I'm done here, yep?


And remember: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission...